Relationships are a fine balance of attraction and comfort, a time tested formula that helps us achieve what we must in lie with the support of who we love.
Like any finely balanced scale it only takes too little of one or too much of another to send the balances crashing. Relationships are the same requiring a continuous balance to keep the fires lit.
In popular use the little and not so little factors that amount to the downfall of a relationship are termed to be deal breakers, a good choice of words considering that most of what is grouped as a deal breaker essentially breaks the deal and douses all fires.
Promiscuity
The biggest issue that couples face specially in the case of newly hitched couples is that one partner is a little too promiscuous for the other’s liking. The reason I said one of the partners, is that most sane individuals with an affinity towards flirting wouldn’t be quite as insecure about their partner being a little flirtatious.
But bear in mind that human psyches are not designed to tolerate promiscuity in relationships. The age old evolutionary insight offered to us by our hard wiring is that competition is a sure fire way to be denied of producing our offspring.
Promiscuity is frowned upon in relationships and even in initial dating phases with women complaining about men who can’t keep their eyes in one place, and men using much more derogatory words to describe women to can’t keep their eyes the same way.
Bottom Priority
Having exclusive priority in a social setting is a fairly difficult task that is a little too demanding for any of us, but many individuals expect that their partners will direct the larger part of their attention towards them when they are out in public as a couple.
Not to say that either partner should feel inhibited within a relationship, but no one wants to be sitting alone at a romantic dinner for two while their partner chats up old friends and colleagues. The same applies to overuse of phones and other digital media during a date
Liar Liar
Lying is one of the most feared and warned against traits when choosing a potential lover, not only is lying fundamentally wrong it also creates and leaves a lot of havoc in its wake.
Compulsive lying is an unattractive attribute even in the case of individuals who exaggerate to add effect; no one wants to hear a story knowing they’re not getting the truth.
Poor Grooming
Cleanliness and hygiene are mandates in a relationship that is intimate in nature. Some individuals may expect higher levels of hygiene when pitted against others, but the underlying rationale is the same, proper hygiene habits are compulsory.
It really will pay off to make an extra effort in the hygiene department when your partner is present.
Condescension
Even though certain aspects of seducing a woman requires that you play a game of push and pull, no woman nor man wants to be in a relationship with a partner who criticizes and condescends on them.
Leave the criticism for when you engage in mind games, don’t ever make it personal nor make a habit of it. A supportive partner is the least that anyone could ask for being as it is that none of us are perfect and no one likes a narcissist.
Abuse
Not just physical violence but emotional and verbal abuse are both included in this list. Fighting is an essential part of building comfort in a relationship, and most all relationships have some fight or another.
Knowing when to draw the all so important line between abuse and an everyday quarrel is up to you. It’s also noteworthy that thresholds vary from individual to individual and culture to culture.
By Dilshan Seneratne - dailymirror.lk
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