Mystery Facts: Women

A woman is one of the greatest enigmas that presents itself to us in our lifetime here and centuries of living with the devil herself has done little but to confuse us more.

The countless theories and concepts that have been forwarded with regard to women remain abstract ideas with more exceptions than the rule itself.

It’s hard to prove a lot of things when it comes to the human psyche and even more so when it comes to the female one but it’s possible to establish the likelihood of a few facts on the subject of women with scientific proof to back it up.

Birth Control Pills Make Women Less Attractive

Contrary to the heading, the pill doesn’t make the woman less attractive as per se, but a recent study on the subject has demonstrated that men perceive women to be most attractive during ovulation at which point the male sub conscious picks up on subtle cues in the woman’s physical attributes which reveal that she is fertile and hence ideal for procreation.

This evolutionary mechanism helps to determine that intercourse occurs at the best possible time to increase chances of bearing offspring. The problem is that the pill inhibits ovulation thus attaining its purpose.

The study found that strippers earned at a strip club earned an average tip of 70 dollars when they were ovulating, 50 dollars when they weren’t and 35 dollars when they were menstruating.

Birth Control Shuns Mr. Right

Women are wired naturally to mate with males whose genetic makeup is different to their own as a mechanism to reduce abnormalities in their offspring, but for some reason the pill throws a wrench in this grand plan causing women to be attracted to men with similar genetic patterns.

The resulting issues are numerous and vary, aside from the obvious pitfall of increasing the risk for their offspring to be abnormal; it also causes the woman to lose attraction for the guy once she get off of the pill. The reason isn’t clearly known but it’s theorized that the pill affects women’s hormonal balances hence causing disruptions to their attraction mechanisms.

Orgasms Relieve Menstrual Cramps

Tell your woman to out with the Ponstan and just do you. A good, regular sex life alleviates those horrible menstrual cramps that plague women monthly. According to a 2005 article in Redbook, studies have shown that the oxytocin and endorphins, natural pain killer of the body released during sex can increase your pain tolerance up to 70%.

That means lower pain before her period -- and believe it or not, even during childbirth. Says sex therapist, couples counselor and sex advice columnist Dr. Miro Gudelsky, “Orgasms are one of the best cures for PMS. The reason being that orgasms relieve swelling around the genitals.” 

Blue Ovaries

Men aren’t the only ones who need release from intercourse, it’s been found that women who also possess similar erectile tissue in their genitals can suffer from lack of release following arousal.

The engorged ovaries can cause discomfort if sufficient release isn’t provided. Even though women may not ejaculate during orgasm, the orgasm is equally important. 

15% Of Women Can’t Get Off

That’s right, 15% of women can’t orgasm through sex alone. The reason being that some women have pleasure centers focused on the Clitoris and hence requires focused stimulation in order to attain orgasm. A point to remember the next time you slave away in bed. 

By Dilshan Senaratne  - dailymirror.lk/

Sexual problems women face

Long considered a taboo subject, women’s sexuality is now openly discussed and portrayed on television, in magazines, and on the internet. Most importantly, women are becoming increasingly aware of their sexuality and their sexual health nowadays. Nevertheless, many young adults are still ignorant of important facts about sexuality and related studies have proved that despite awareness raising and exposure to television programs on sex, some young people, especially girls from very conservative backgrounds, still think that even kissing or touching can lead to pregnancy.The Nation asked Family Planning Association (FPA) Sri Lanka Medical Director Dr. Sumithra Tissera about the common sexual problems that women face.

Q. What sexual problems do women face?

Sexual problems or sexual dysfunction can be classified as:Loss of desire or libido: Inability to become aroused - insufficient vaginal lubrication, anxiety and inadequate stimulation.Lack of orgasm (anorgasmia): could be due to sexual inhibition, inexperience, lack of knowledge, guilt, anxiety, or past sexual trauma or abuse, certain medications and disease.Painful intercourse: could be due to vaginismus, endometriosis, pelvic lump, vaginitis, poor lubrication, sexually-transmitted infections, presence of scar tissue from previous surgery, (vaginismus - involuntary spasm of the muscles surrounding the vagina – due to fear, sexual phobia, previous traumatic or painful experience).

Q. What causes such problems?

There can be several causes such as personal wellbeing; relationship issues; male sexual problems; childbirth; menopause; surgery such as hysterectomy and oophorectomy; vaginal or pelvic pain - prior surgery; endometriosis; infections; bladder and pelvic support issues; medical issues such as cancer, heart disease, arthritis, diabetes, alcoholism; taking in anti-psychotics, anti-depressants, anti-hypertensives (beta blockers) and emotional factors such as stress, anxiety and depression.

Q. Are they the same for young and older women or do they change with age?

The causes for women’s sexual problems can vary with age. For example, sexual problems due to childbirth, relationship issues are mainly observed at young age while problems due to menopause (dryness of the vagina and loss of desire due to hormonal imbalances), medical issues, bladder and pelvic support issues are mainly seen at older age.

Q. What could be the reasons for pelvic disorders that cause pain during intercourse?

Having severe vaginal discharge with smell and itching can cause the vaginal area to be red and swollen making sexual intercourse painful. Also Pelvic Inflammatory Disease (PID) can cause pain during sex. Prominent pubic bone and a very thick hymen are also reasons that they may avoid sex just after marriage. All these can be solved by consulting relevant family doctor, or a gynecologist.

Q. Does hormonal imbalance interfere with sexual satisfaction?

Perimenopause and menopause surgeries that remove bilateral ovaries that secrete the sex hormones can result in vaginal dryness, causing painful sexual intercourse which may make women avoid sex completely.But this can be prevented by using a lubricant or an estrogen containing gel around the vaginal area or using Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT). But before using any of them, consulting a gynecologist is advisable.

Q. Is pregnancy a cause for sexual dysfunction?

A lot of pregnant women worry about having sex thinking that it will harm the fetus. But this is not true. They can continue having sexual intercourse, but may sometimes need to change the positions so they can avoid pressing on the protruding abdomen.

Q. Do Non-Communicable Diseases (NCDs) like diabetes, hypertension, cancer and heart disease interfere with sexual activities?

Yes, they can interfere with sexual activity by reducing the desire. Cancer can cause discomfort and fatigue due to the disease as well as medication. Breast surgery for cancer results in changes in body image. Diabetes impairs arousal and ability to experience orgasm. Arthritis and heart disease may reduce the physical ability to engage in sex and psychiatric problems due to disease or medications can affect a person’s sexual relationships.

Q. What about medications?

Some medications also can reduce the sex drive and make the vagina dry thereby reducing the desire to have sexual contact (anti psychotics and anti depressants).

Q. How do Sexually-Transmitted Infections (STIs) affect a person’s sexual activities?

STIs can cause sexual problems due to discharge, small lesions and redness on the vaginal area. Women avoid intercourse when they have such conditions because of the pains they experience during the intercourse.

Q. How do male impotency and other problems in men during sex affect women?

Male sexual dysfunctions may also have some negative effects on women’s sex lives. In the case of premature ejaculation (ejaculating too early) the woman may feel unsatisfied. Some men due to their inability to get an erection may avoid having sex or postpone it daily where the women may also, after sometime, avoid sexual activities or may look to other men.

Q. What about attitudes to sex? Some women, because they are brought up in conservative households or due to bad experiences think sex is shameful or bad, your comments.

This is sometimes observed in relationships. Especially if women had a bad experience during their childhood, they would perceive sexual relationships negatively. They may also experience pain during sexual intercourse. Some such women get vaginismus and they do not allow their partners to have sex with them even after many years of marriage.

Q. How important is knowledge about sex in minimizing women’s sexual problems?

Just knowledge is not enough. They need to have accurate knowledge to understand sex and sexuality. They must know the difference between men and women not only physically, but also psychologically and the way they are aroused and way they act.

Q. what is the role of cultural beliefs about sex, especially with reference to Lankan and Asian women?

In Asian cultures, sex is seen as a taboo subject. The kids are not even taught the physical and psychological changes taking place in their body. Most start learning this after marriage or during a relationship. As this subject is not spoken about openly, particularly women are very shy even to talk about it with their partners. Specially what they like and dislike and what they want from a relationship as they feel speaking openly may brand them a woman with ‘bad characters’. This sometimes inhibits the woman even more in showing her desires.

Q. How can sexual problems be resolved?

For solving all sexual problems, medicine is not essential. Simple counseling and discussions between partners is enough to identify the problems and come up with solutions. There are doctors in Sri Lanka trained on psychosexual medicine as well as sexual health specialists and psychologists. If any women feel that she has a change in her sexual behavior or relationship, she should seek help soon rather than waiting till it escalates. 

Q. What supports do Lankan women have by way of 1) accessing correct knowledge 2) counseling and any other? What role does the FPA play in these interventions?

There are many books written on relationships, sexuality and sexual behavior of men and women by eminent consultants and psychologists. They are available from many book shops. FPA Sri Lanka clinic - Centre for Family Health - provides consultations and referrals with people who need specialized care and counseling.

Q. Are they available to all and where can they be obtained?

These services are available for all women, sometimes even through their family physicians. But if they do need specialized care they may need to go and talk to a Consultant Psychiatrist in their own area.

nation.lk

When it’s not the bed..

It’s a given. Nothing beats the soft mattress, fluffy pillows and the fresh sheets when it comes to making love. But, when you can’t make it to the bedroom or there isn’t a bed available for immediate use or you simply prefer alternatives, there are those few ‘other’ places that’ll work just fine.

Here’s a list (drawn up by an anonymous female clan) that show where it’s still hot... without the fluffy pillows.

The Car 

“Oh yes! The car is very very hot. The titanic is proof for that. Windows rolled up, nothing but each other’s body heat to gloriously suffocate in. I’m unashamedly a back seat girl.” 

Garden 

“NOT in broad daylight. When it’s raining, on the grass, maybe little bit chilly. Really there’s something about the smell of wet grass, it has the shower effect. But in a more open air kind of way and yeah...the smell of wet grass.

Wall

“Flies aren’t the only ones who like walls you see. Being up against a wall, It’s so intense. Everyone should try it.”

Shower

“Yes I know it’s common. But really, my body is super sensitive when I’m having a shower (and he knows that). I think our shower area being a square cubicle with glass doors helps as well. See it’s convenient: we get cleaned AND we get our morning kick before our coffee."

Beach

“Ok besides the occasional sand in certain areas (place a small towel for help) this is my ultimate favourite. It’s perfect. Wet sand, the sound of the ocean, wind in my hair and the smell of the sea. Really you’re on a different planet.”

Chair

“I know most won’t agree but this is the hottest place so far. Really! I have never felt so in control. The proximity of our bodies, the position, It’s the true definition of 'ride'. And heels help for elevation.”

Floor

“Wooden. (Only floor surface I’ve tried). You can drag easily. Rolling around is fun, getting the sheets entangled all an excellent substitute when you just can’t make it upstairs.”

Pool 

“It’s the whole water effect I think. Floating around and etc... It needs a little more effort than usual. But you’re much lighter in the water. That’s the most useful part."

Getting naughty should never be limited to the bedroom. Everyone should experiment with unconventional areas once in a while or as often as possible. After all you live only once. 

P.S. Do NOT try anything on a flight of stairs! Unless of course for the next few days you want to walk like you just gave birth.
dailymirror.lk

What not to say

Effective communication and its many benefits are an ever common topic in all basic dating and relationships discussions. Most of us are adequately eloquent to maintain a conversation long enough and not offend our conversant, a skill that serves us well in all social situations.

For those of us who aren’t quite as skilled at making and holding a conversation, there’s a vast amount of content out there; however a commonly foregone problem is the issue of maintaining conversation pleasantries beyond the courting stage.

It’s no secret that we portray our best side when courting but following the point of attraction and initial stages in a relationship it’s common to see the niceties fade and the stressors of everyday life creeping into the romance. 

Aggressive and offensive conversation patterns are the beginning of full blown arguments and disheartenments further down the line. There are a few basic conversation bummers you can avoid to stay away from that rut.

Blame

Most people come to their partners for the sole purpose of having someone on their side. An important aspect that you need to realize is that most times when your partner is complaining about gaining weight she already knows that the chocolate pudding she ate the other night had something to do with it, but she doesn’t need to hear it from you.

Before you start stuttering your diplomatic lies about how the unconscious body in the front yard isn’t her fault, there’s an important distinction to make between comfort seeking behaviour and delusional attitudes.

While comforting her is important, it’s equally important to ensure that she realizes she has to take responsibility for her actions. An effective way to tackle this issue is to ensure that the situation is revocable instead of claiming it isn’t her fault.

For example if she complains about weight she’s gaining it might be a good idea to mention that she can hit the gym over the weekend instead of claiming that she’s not gaining weight due to any fault of hers and that the weather gods are to blame.

Passive

Remember relating a long drawn story about how everything seemed to be going wrong today only to hear a non committal murmur from your partner? Well truth is most of us do.

Interest in minute details of your partner’s life fades over time and we tend to tune out when hearing something that isn’t of much interest to us or something that we’ve heard before. It’s important that you commit to these conversations by understanding how important the topic is to your partner.

While it may be acceptable to tune out from her commentary of her favourite TV show it might not be a good idea to tune out when she talks about her dead aunt who she was very close to as a child. 

Ignorance

This is something most of us are guilty of, men in particular and women to a certain degree tend to focus on the principle mechanisms of a problem when we aren’t directly faced with it.

It’s easy for us to quickly make very harsh decisions on behalf of other people, completely ignoring their emotional turmoil when in reality we ourselves wouldn’t be so rash if faced with the same circumstances.

Most issues that people require counsel for have no easy solution and by providing a quick rash solution while ignoring the emotional elements, we are necessarily communicating our unwillingness to commit to helping them solve their problem.

By Dilshan Senaratne - dailymirror.lk

Sexual healing

The general logic to live by is, if it’s got a drink named after it, chances are it’s really good; and that logic couldn’t be truer as in the case of sex. There’s hardly an argument against sex, there really hasn’t been since the puritans and by the looks of it there won’t be any such argument cropping up in the near future.

But out of the obvious, there’s a lot more to sex than you would’ve thought. Turns out, what goes on under the sheets actually helps to alleviate your quality of life beyond what you might have initially imagined. 

 

 

Cardio

Even though sex doesn’t inch out jogging or hitting the gym, regular sexual activity burns a substantial amount of fat capable of burning a few of those troublesome pounds. In numbers, 30 minutes of sexual activity is linked with 85 calories. Not that there are promises of getting a six pack but surely wouldn’t you rather have sex than hit the treadmill? 

 

 

Blood Circulation And Stress Management

 

Findings from a Scottish study of 24 women and 22 men who kept records of their sexual activity revealed that sexual intercourse improved blood circulation, essentially assisting individuals to manage stress better. The researchers put them in stressful situations, such as speaking in public and doing math out loud, and checked their blood pressure.

 

People who had had intercourse responded better to stress than those who engaged in other sexual behaviors or abstained from it altogether. Another study published in the same journal revealed that the bottom line of blood pressure (diastolic blood pressure) was significantly lower in individuals who lived together and engaged in sex when compared to others. 

 

Immunity

 

Let’s get a little technical here, studies revealed that sexual activity and immunoglobulin A or IgA showed a correlation. IgA is an antibody that assists in the process of safeguarding us from infections like the common cold. The findings were revealed in a study carried out in Wilkes University in Wilkes-Barre, Pa with the participation of 112 subjects.

 

 

Improved Heart Health

 

Contrary to popular notion that sex increases the chances of men having a stroke, a study revealed that there was no correlation between sex and likelihood of having a stroke. Instead a 20 year-long British study revealed that men who had sex twice or more times a week were half as likely to have a fatal heart attack. 

 

 

Self Esteem

 

Improving self esteem was one of 237 reasons why people have sex as archived and published by the University of Texas in their journal “The Archives of Sexual Behaviour”. Self esteem is a fairly obvious benefit of having sex considering that most people who get lucky in the sack are also very confident outside of the bedroom. 

 

Stronger Relationships

 

Having regular physical contact and orgasms elevate the levels of the hormone termed Oxytocin which is popularly dubbed as the “love hormone”.

 

Elevated levels of Oxytocin are observed following intimate physical contact and are shown to have an improvement of generosity; needless to say the generosity assists greatly in improving trust and bonds in a relationship. 

 

Pain Killer

 

As very obscenely displayed in the movie “The girl with the dragon tattoo” sexual intercourse improves Oxytocin levels and Endorphins which allow for pain thresholds to be cut in as much as half.

 

Even though deep bleeding gashes are probably not the best things to experiment with, headaches and other minor painful symptoms such as stomach cramps may be greatly alleviated following sexual intercourse. 

 

Anti Prostate Cancer

 

Men who ejaculate 21 times a month or more have been shown to have lesser chance of developing prostate cancer when compared to men who ejaculate 4 to 7 times a month. Even though the study wasn’t conclusive in identifying ejaculation to be the sole determinant of the reduced risk, why not try it right? 

 

 

By Dilshan Senaratne - dailymirror.lk

Reasons for those sleepless nights

Sleep is one of the most rewarding experiences for most adults who go through their day looking forward to the bliss of hitting their pillows. Imagine having to go through a busy day, hitting the sack and being unable to drift off to dreamland. Inability to sleep plagues many individuals of varying ages.

 

Let me start off by saying Insomnia is a clinical condition which requires professional medical intervention, this article only tries to alleviate sleeping problems not cure sleep disorders. A few fixes to your lifestyle may be the answer to getting that valuable shut eye time you crave. 

 

Caffeine isn’t a quick fix

Wonderful as caffeine is to keep you awake through those long drawn boring meetings; it can also last a very long time following its initial consumption time. The standard time span of caffeine is approximately 5 hours.

 

After the first wave of the reaction is distributed to all cellular structures of your body, the internal workings of your system gets rid of half the stuff in five hours, three quarters in ten hours and seven eighths in fifteen hours.

 

The easy conclusion to draw is that the caffeine in your morning cup of coffee is still running around in your system when you’re ready to get some sleep. Most of us rid our systems of caffeine much slower which means over time the caffeine in your system plays a large accumulated role of keeping you awake all through the day. 

 

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Counting hours

This is a common reason for inability to fall asleep, remember that time you had something important to do in the morning and you got to bed a little later than you would’ve liked?

 

Also remember how you counted the hours of sleep you could squeeze in before you had to wake up and prepare for your big day? Thinking about sleep is one of the worst ways to fall asleep.

 

The condition is known as psychophysiological insomnia and is one of the most common forms of insomnia to affect working professionals who have meetings and work appointments to look forward to (or dread) in the morning. 

 

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Boozing yourself to sleep

Alcohol is considered as a pro-sleep intoxicant by many, some even going the extent of using alcohol as their sleeping pill. The problem with this very well laid out plan is that alcohol causes the brain to rouse itself 15 to 20 times more than normal.

 

Most people wouldn’t notice these awakenings mainly because you need to be awake for 6 to 8 minutes to remember it as a waking experience. A random fact that also needs to be considered is that alcohol exerts twice to thrice the usual impact it has on the brain past 12 midnight when compared with 6 pm. 

 

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Smoking 

Tobacco also causes a great deal of insomnia due to the nicotine craving it creates in regular smokers. The brain rouses itself 20 times more in smokers than in an average person due to the nicotine withdrawal symptoms.

 

By Dilshan Senaratne - life.dailymirror

The talkative Wife

Anoma did not know she was so talkative. She was a non-stop yarn spinner. But her husband knew it. He was at times repelled by this habit of hers. But he did not want to indicate the fact that he knew it.

Can’t you be silent? Can’t you be moderate in your talk? It was the uppermost question he wanted to ask Anoma. But he feared the consequences for some unknown reason.

How can I indicate my feelings, he wondered. If I am to reveal openly what I feel, she would get angry. So he kept silent. Honestly some things she said were interesting. Only thing was that she would repeat the same story over and over again in many ways.

“Why don’t you write what you talk?” He once asked.

He tried to recollect the most recent event. He had to accompany Anoma to a gathering of friends.

Please don’t talk too much, he wanted to advise Anoma. But he could not get himself to do so. Then it came to a moment when Anoma opened one of her favourite episodes from the past to those seated around her.

“You know that place where I used to work before marriage... My god such a fantastic place...” she initiated the talk. The others were all ears around her. Anoma’s husband felt a little shy. But he was listening too.

“There was an interview... I went to the interview with all smiles. You know that was the best qualification I had from birth.”

They all laughed.

“True, a smile itself is a good qualification,’ a young man stressed her opinion.

“Exactly,” Anoma adder her bit.

“But aren’t you a graduate?” a response from a young lady.

“Yes, yes I am... Wait will you till I’m done with my story,” Anoma was itching to finish off her story.

“So they asked me so many questions. I was lucky I could answer them all like a piece of cake. So finally they declared they picked me for the job.”

“So what was your position?” the gathering burst into a laugh for some reason.

“I was the boss’ private secretary. It was a very high up business firm.”

As the laughter rose again, Anoma’s husband felt shy a little more this time. Why can’t she just keep herself quiet, he silently wondered.

“Know what happened next? Some girls developed a jealousy for me. They hated my smile. My boss once asked me a question openly. Do you know why we chose you? I said no.

Then he said: it’s your smile, we love it so much. You will never imagine how happy I was to hear that remark. He said I would have been posted in the reception.”

Anoma’s husband felt it’s getting too much. Shut up, he felt like commanding, they are well off without your nonsense. But he felt feeble to put anything to action. Instead, he tried to diver the subject. Someone emerged from nowhere and asked him to join for a drink.

But he was reluctant to have a drink. He was scared it would cause another problem. Anyway he left Anoma with her friends, but full of worries in his head.

“Here, I’ve got another interesting story for you guys,” Anoma was getting into another conversation, as her husband was leaving.

“Oh my god,” said Anoma, “they were the women! They started gossiping about the boss and I. At first I didn’t take it seriously. But later it was getting out of hand. They were completely jealous about me. My boss knew this and one day he told me: ‘Anoma, they are jealous about you. They don’t like me talking good about you.’”

Anoma’s husband could not put up with this talk any more. Now she would start another, he was concerned.

“I’ll fill my glass and come back,” saying so, he joined the male company. The males were also, Anoma’s husband noted to his own dismay, drinking, cracking jokes and nothing else. There was so much noise, so aloud like empty vessels. He found the situation ill at ease.

“I am neither here nor there,” he thought.

“I must go home and rest,” he thought. Coming back to Anoma, he found her munch another tale.

The dinner was served, luckily.

Anoma’s husband felt relieved so he could leave the place soon.

“Anoma, it’s time to go home,” he said.

“Are you in a hurry? We are enjoying your wife’s tales,” one lady quipped.

“Why, has she not finished yet?” He asked, noting his own tone irritating.

“Oh no,” said another lady.

On the return, Anoma felt a certain sense of aloofness in her husband. He was silent for the most part.

“What’s wrong with you?” she asked.

“Let’s go home, I’ll tell you.”

She repeated the question.

“Nothing, I’m bored.”

“Why?”

“You must not have come out with those harangues.”

Anoma’s husband then focused his eyes on the road. There was no talk throughout the journey.

 By Daily News